Excuse me, folks, while I let out some frustration here.

We're a dozen rehearsals out from opening night and I'm having some problems with my bunch (that's 27 kids, aged 5-16, btw).  We're doing The Best Christmas Pageant Ever!, a play selected not only because it's a great story, but also because of the ease of costuming (present day clothing).  The kids were to put together their own "kid" costume, and I'm doing the costumes for the "pageant".  Costume deadline is Oct. 30.  I'm concerned because I now have kids coming up to me saying they don't have anything to wear ... even one of the kids playing a Herdman!

Some of my older kids are just now telling me they might miss tech week because of sports conflicts.  (I'm working with the parents to work on the coach about this one.)  The missed rehearsals because of sports are one thing, but when they simply forget or a parent calls and tells me her 1st grader has too much homework to do to make it to rehearsal it really gets my goat. 

I have actors who don't know their lines (or line, in some cases) and others who are too busy exploring the air in front of them to realize everyone else in the scene has left the stage.  Others can't sit still even if you've glued them to the chair.

I know what some of you are thinking:  "You took it on yourself taking on 27 kids", "Been there; done that", "You still have 12 rehearsals and you're already that far?!  Wow", or "I'll be right over with the vodka and a dry shoulder."

I'm not a novice at this ... I've worked with kids in plays for 20 years, I taught for 10 years ... and, for the most part, this play has been a great experience for everyone.  Even the community has been wonderful about pitching in.  A secondhand store the next town over has been very generous in donating anything I need (Just give us a call and we'll put it aside for you) and a community member played props mistress for me.  Everyone for 50 miles around is hyped about the show and we may have to schedule an extra performace. 

I don't want it to come off looking like the little "reader's theatre" plays that they do here in 4th grade or the holiday concerts where the little ones are waving to Mommy and Daddy in the audience.  A community play has not been done in this town in over 20 years, and no one has ever mentioned if a children's play has ever been attempted.  A lot of these kids really have talent, but they've never had the opportunity to show it.  (Even I'm afraid of Imogene and Gladys ~ they're that good!)

Okay ... I'm done.  Anyone care to comment?!  I'd welcome other horror stories or some sage advice. 

God bless you Nanette!  Been there - done that - I've directed BCPE 4 times. It is a wonderful Christmas show and I never get tired of it.  It's fun to see the kids grow up and come back to "move up the cast list." Going from a baby angel to Gladys to Imogene to Beth. I can share a few horror stories.  I had a parent once pull both her kids out after the opening weekend, just to cause her ex-husband grief because his family had bought tickets for the next weekend. Nice lady - huh? Luckily all the kids in the show knew everyone else's lines and I easily found two kids to take over their lines. Unfortunately, it is very commonplace with a large cast of busy kids, to not have everyone there until dress rehearsal - and sometimes not until opening night.  After my first two times of directing this show (any kid's show) I wised up and started casting an understudy for every main character in the show.  I also schedule an understudy show to make it worth while for the understudies and their parents.  That way they get their 15 minutes of fame. Casting understudies can solve a couple of possible problems:

1) You have someone to read their lines when they aren't at rehearsal.

2) You can make it very clear that if any child becomes a problem with behavior, or absenses they can (and will) be quickly replaced. We are not a babysitting service. I also insist that parents stay for rehearsals (in a separate room of course).

3) Understudies came in VERY handy for me the year that Beth (the main character / narrator) became very ill and couldn't be in one of the shows.  It also came in handy the same year when Hobie (a smaller part) literally fell and broke his leg at dress rehearsal when his foot got caught in his dad's robe. 

You know, you're never too old to learn something! I have been directing children's theatre for many years, and I never thought about having the kids (and the parents) sign a contract! Thanks Tristan for that idea!  I can see how it could help eliminate a lot of problems!

There are no small parts, only small actors!

Thanks everyone!  I'm feeling better now.

I did inform everyone up front about attendence during tech week.  Out here in the boonies 4H, FFA, and sports are the important things.  No one has ever considered any of the arts important.  I like the idea of a contract and next time, though, a contract WILL be issued and signed by all parties. 

I also like the idea of the parents being there ... in another room, of course.  Sometimes I'll only need a little one for a quick run-though of their scene and it would help to be able to get them out from under foot.  Thankfully most of them live within 100' of the church/theatre so I can send them out the door and watch them walk home.  If they live any farther, I have a friend's 16-yr-old drive them.  (I'll buy her a car as a thank you .... Hot Wheels, of course!)

suzecue ... Where's the child welfare?

castMe ... I'll take that bet!

As far as taking on the little ones;  it's what I do.  I now know, though, who I can count on for the next show and who I don't even bother to photograph for my files at the next audition.  ROFLOL  I think I'll send them home from the next rehearsal all sugared up.  What do you think?!

I refuse to acknowledge that this thread exists, since my kids and I did not get cast in our local production of BXPE.

We would have showed up, at least!

Oh, and my second-grader has at least an hour's worth of homework every night, and the kindergardener has to do three book reports a month (okay, all she does is draw a picture of her favorite part of a book we read to her, but still. . . .)

I would suggest that those that only have a line or two (and don't know them) be told (and their parents told too) that if they do not know their lines by a certain date that you will assign the lines to another child. It may also help to pare down a couple of the unfocused ones stage time (if that is possible in the show). It may not be a popular choice, but it may help to polish some of the scenes to be more appealing to a paying audience. 

Oy...you have my sympathies.   I directed 11 teens in a show that I took to my first drama festival and I never had all of them there, even for tech reheasals.  The only time I had them all was for the festival performance and the normal run of the show.  No I take that back, there was one perfomance where I had to subsitute for one of the teens.    Bribes, threats, begging, pleading and being nice never worked.   The parents?   Aahhh faghed about it!

I'm feeling so much better after reading some of your stories (Doesn't that sound terrible?!).  Tonight I flat-out asked one of my antsy/chattery ones if he thought his mother would be interested in standing guard backstage during a show to keep everyone quiet back there.  He didn't get the hint.  (LOL  ~ Sarcasm is wasted on kids.)  I think I'll ask her the weekend.

When I have directed BCPE I always asked the moms of the baby angels to help back stage. They can rotate shows so they all only miss one show. Put one of them in charge of the schedule.  You have enough to do. This helps with keeping the noise level down in the green room and it also places them back there to help with the baby angel's costume change, which needs to be pretty quick.

Speaking from experience, asking the parent of the kid who isn't behaving to help is like asking the wolf to guard the chicken house.  He isn't behaving because she (they-the parents) have never taught him how to behave. Never expected him to behave. Ask the parent of the best behaved kid to help back stage.  Works much better.