I've been Stage Manager for almost all our community theater productions and have never had trouble with stage crew until last night at the Dress Rehearsal for our large (50 cast and crew) musical (opening tonight). 

Stage Crew supervisor isn't supervising his crew and they are all noisier backstage than a flock of seagulls!  When I asked him to quiet down and get his guys to quiet down, he swore at me!  Turns out he 'won't take direction from a woman'.  When I showed him the posted 'Backstage Rules' he ripped them up!  The Director picked this guy and he didn't come to any rehearsals until last week.

I lost composure (haven't been treated so badly in a long time!) and Act 2 suffered.  I don't think I can work with this guy for the next 5 performances. 

Should I ignore him and blame the backstage noise on him? (Director complained to me about the amount of noise)  It's "just community theater", right? 

Whatever you do, DON'T ignore him. BUT, you should tell the director (as well as whomever chooses the directors, since the guy was director's choice) about this behavior. It is bullying, plain and simple, and if the guy can't 'take direction from a woman', then he shouldn't be involved in the production. He's testing your authority, and as stage manager - and at dress rehearsal - you ARE the final authority. If the director has problems with you talking about it, go up the chain of command and talk to the board of directors - if this guy gets away with it with you, he'll continue this behavior the next time he's involved in a show.

Angie (a woman techie, stage manager, and current director that knows what you're going through ).

Tell the director he needs to address the issue before the curtain rises.  After that, you're the one in charge of the show.  You may want to bring the theater manager (or board member) on board as well as a past director if the current director needs to be convinced this is a problem.  The more experience you can get in your corner the easier it will be to educate everyone on proper theater ettiquet. 

Sounds like the back stage crew wants to put the "unprofessional" into amatuer.

If one of my crew said I won't take orders from a woman I would have booted him right there even if he was directors choice. that sort of sexism should not be put up with. A good SM is much harder to replace than a crew member. if the director values you and the work you do for them they should back you up.

I would have smaked him right in the face for that kind of @*#&$%!!! in the real world you could sue him!!!

good luck girl!

It's so nice to have some support!  Thank you! Only my leading cast members (the ones with the most theatre experience) are behind me in this.  Everyone else tells me I am being too strict backstage (mostly the ones who think backstage is a big social gathering).  Is it wrong to want a production to be the best it can, even if it is 'just' community theatre?

The Director refuses to replace the guy (just got off the phone about it) as he is a friend, and explains his behaviour as "he is taking medication for an illness".  I said he should stay home if he's sick!

But Tallsor hit the nail on the head.  The guy IS a bully.

Our Board Members are too busy dealing with a General Manager crisis  - they might support me as I am actually a pretty good SM, but they don't want to annoy the Director (who is actually the theatre's Artistic Director).

And, Gaafa, that is a good explanation of paying patrons having a contract with us by buying a ticket.  I keep saying that.  Maybe somebody will hear me someday.

Boy..... I know that it is all case by case as far as your relationship with the theater and production,as to how far you can go without ruining your on cred,  but even at this late date, it would be either him or me....

and let me add... I HOPE I would take that stand and not just suck it up for the show... but like I said, case by case and I would problably wind up sticking it out in the long run

Darn theater fanatic that I am...

Good luck

k8tt if you do have to put up with this guy, please be careful this bully stuff can get out of hand. maybe the director will change his mind when the opening night house complains about the noise. maybe you could plant someone to complain. lol

also when I stage manage I always pick the crew heads, its one of the things I insits on. I will consider everyone the director suggest but I make the choice for the good of the show.

1 more thing, if the show comes off bad people will blame the director

How sad that the director is putting "friendship" before the production. 

The stage manager is in charge from opening night on, so I think I would "professionaly" tell this person "I am responsible for this production at this point and I am sure we both have the same goals in mind, so lets work together.  And don't think of me as a woman think of me as a stage manager!" 

Break a Leg!

My long-time stage manager won't even let me backstage as a director once the production is audience-ready.  Of course, there is a mutual respect for each other between us, and as a couple of the earlier posters put it, the show and the patrons come first.

You are the authority if your director and board have any sense of theatre and priorities.

Well I have my 2 cents to add.....along the lines of what "Topper" said.  I am the female manager of a construction company and despite the bad rap that construction workers get, 99% of the time I am treated with respect.  On the few occasions I have run into a new employee or a subtrade worker who makes a "pussy" comment I fire them or throw them off of the site.  Works every time.

I realize that you can't "fire" a volunteer but I just wanted you to know that you don't have to take his disrespect.  It's not 1950 anymore for crying out loud.

Whatever you do K8tt, don't let the matter drop, otherwise it will come back. Even if you have to "soldier through" this one, medication or no, this guy is trouble. If you plan to work with this group again, make sure you get it up front that from now on, you choose your crew. After all, you're the one who has to work with them.

And the board may have another management issue to deal with... their Artistic Director is putting friendship before the show. This is one reason I really don't care for that particular setup; it gives one person too much power and the quality of the shows can suffer. Perhaps that's a opic for another thread.

Thanks so much for all the support!  I really need it.  Our theatre group is small, in a small town, and we scrape the bottom of the barrel for volunteers. Right now I am ignoring the jerk.  He ignores me, has not said a word, but I catch him staring at me.  Scary.  I now have a list of who I will not work with in the future.

But at the matinee today I will have to speak to the stage crew boys who are back to chattering away and broke the concentration of the leads last night.  It's the 14 - 20 year olds that can't control themselves.  I have FIFTEEN teens backstage and eleven kids under 13.  I'm taking a witch's hat today and will use humor to get their attention.

The Board meets in 10 days and I will bring this up.  The Director ALWAYS comes backstage.  Surprised me the first time, but she just HAD to give notes.  I kick her out occasionally.  We have had a good working relationship up until this problem.

I am very thankful for my wonderful leads (7 of them) and costume crew who have rallied around me.

Thank you for this forum! 

   I have FIFTEEN teens backstage and eleven kids under 13.  I'm taking a witch's hat today and will use humor to get their attention.

 (

NOTES????  Backstage??? DURING a show??  Oh, dear-

I think we have found the root of the problem: the director!

Either that, or she's just pushy in general. 

The show is YOURS after it opens.  It should start being yours during tech week, but by long standing tradition, the SM is in charge from opening night on.  When I direct, I tend to announce at the last rehearsal, "I now have no responsibilities here whatsoever."  (Quoting Sam from A Few Good Men.)

Much as in the case of a ship's captain.  My understanding is, even a superior officer -- even an Admiral -- even the Commander in Chief -- requests "permission to come aboard" before boarding a ship.  A matter of protocol.  The SM won't refuse the director (although some probably should, and as an actor I've sometimes wished they had), but it's polite to ask.