Closed Topics: Casting and directing a spouse

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Casting and directing a spouse

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Topic: Casting and directing a spouse

Posted By: Christine
Subject: Casting and directing a spouse
Date Posted: 7/26/05 at 10:20am

Do any directors have an absolute policy on never casting a spouse in a play they're directing?

I cast my husband in a minor role in a play I'm directing and let's say - I'm having a little difficulty with some things that have cropped up.

Replies:

Posted By: Traitor800
Date Posted: 7/26/05 at 9:12pm

i did tech for a show where the husband was one of the leads and the wife was the director. now i only saw the last week of rehersals but lets just say it wasn't pretty. they were yelleing at each other all the time and it was ugly. by the way that the cast took it its safe to assume that this was a common occurence. The show turned out great in the end but man there were some rocky moments during rehearsal especialy for somebody that had never worked with the group before. don't know if this helped at all but best of luck with your show.

Posted By: Kathy S
Date Posted: 7/27/05 at 12:31am

There have been at least three directors in our group who have directed their husbands, myself being one. None of us have ever had any ugly words at rehearsal or on the way home with our beloved husbands -- at least not that I am aware of...I don't even remember any tense moments, for that matter!

Posted By: Dustmac
Date Posted: 7/29/05 at 5:59pm

I don't think you have anything to worry about here. You gave him a small role so I wouldn't think there would be any objections. The problem you run into is if several people audition for a role and then your spouse ends up with the lead. We have had a little of that at our theater.

Posted By: Topper
Date Posted: 7/29/05 at 6:03pm

Hey, there's nothing new about an actor getting cast
because they happen to be sleeping with the
director! At least your excuse is legitimate!

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"None of us really grow up. All we ever do is learn how to behave in public." -- Keith Johnstone

Posted By: Christine
Date Posted: 8/01/05 at 2:15pm

LOL - maybe I should clarify something....

He has a long history at the theatre, so he does have talent. There were no issues with the fact that I cast him.

Posted By: mdelange
Date Posted: 8/01/05 at 2:16pm

Great comment Topper, I was laughing out loud at my desk!

Posted By: Topper
Date Posted: 8/03/05 at 12:53am

Aha! Thanks for the clarification.

So instead of dealing with bruised egos of fellow
actors, we're dealing with something more
substantial -- personal and professional boundary
issues.

Like all actors, it appears your husband suffers from
the unflattering combination of Large Ego coupled
with Low Self-Esteem. This is probably why he feels
the need to challenge his wife in order to make
himself feel more in power.

I assume this behavior is occuring in front of the
other actors and crew, so you need to reassert your
authority.

Next time your hubby "corrects" your suggestions,
graciously thank him for his "advice" and mention
you'll "take it under consideration." Then return the
favor with "that reminds me, by the way, we need to
talk about something after rehearsal."

This will plant the seed in his mind that something
he did or said during rehearsal has sparked a
PRIVATE conversation later.

In private, politely remind your husband that as
director you are ultimately responsible for all choices
and decisions that appear onstage. Appeal to his
husband-like duty to trust you and support your
decisions (Love-honor-obey). "I'm sure you're not
aware of this, but your contradicting me in front of my
cast undermines my authority and reduces my ability
to perform the job I was hired to do."

If he has more experience than you, remind him that
you'll welcome his suggestions (as all good
directors should) but that the final decision must
reside with you.

If he has less experience than you, politely tell him to
shut up and mind his own business.

Then kiss and make-up! This is why so many
show-business marriages fail!

Best of luck to you.

Signed, Dr. Phil.

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"None of us really grow up. All we ever do is learn how to behave in public." -- Keith Johnstone