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GeeGee
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Quote GeeGee Replybullet Topic: HELP!!!
    Posted: 2/05/11 at 11:27pm
Hi all!

I am currently directing a play which deals with a son's grieving process after his mother's death. The character starts off very shut down (almost indifferent), he then moves on to anger, and finally to tears. The problem is coming in the final stage. I have never struggled guiding actors through a "crying scene" but the actor cast in this role lost his mom exactly a year ago. At first this was not an issue, but as rehearsals have progressed, he has admitted that it is getting harder and harder. Now when we reach the climax, I can see him totally shut down and do this really bad fake cry (he is an amazing actor so this really stands out in contrast to the rest of the play)in an effort to not allow himself to actually get swept away in the emotion. I have talked to him about this, and he says he really is trying to not suppress the emotion, but he's desperate not to be crying over his own mom at that moment. Anyone have any suggestions as to how to help him? I sense a real need to be careful with my approach because he seems to becoming quite fragile!
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Quote Spectrum Replybullet Posted: 2/06/11 at 3:04am
How much like 'playing with fire' was it to cast this actor in that role, given his recent tragedy? I assume this actor still wants to do this part.  Would it be so wrong to suggest he use his real feelings to develop this role?  Most actors use some part of their personal experience to portray whatever they are doing on stage.  There would be nothing wrong with him crying for real (and for his mother) at that part of the play, especially since the two experiences are so perfectly parallel.  That is, unless he can no longer control himself once the crying begins.  If that’s the case, I don’t see him ever getting through that scene successfully, out of fear of ‘losing it.’  If he can stay in control, it might even be liberating for him, and a way to honor his mother in a very public way.  HE is the one who has to decide if he is brave enough to risk doing it, though.  All you can do is be encouraging, and maybe have an understudy at the ready.  May you have great success, whatever you end up doing!  WOW!
Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional.
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Quote GeeGee Replybullet Posted: 2/06/11 at 10:41am
You are right! And, I agree; I think it is the fear of absolutely losing it that is holding him back. But now I'm wondering, if perhaps he did let himself go completely in rehearsal and the result was losing it, if the next time, and the next time, and the next time, he would find he could stay more and more in control. I know there have been a few times in my life where something has hit me so deeply that I have lost all emotional control, and certain things can bring up that emotion again, but even if I cry, I don't "lose it" anymore.
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Quote Majicwrench Replybullet Posted: 2/06/11 at 12:21pm

As an actor I use my personal experiences all the time, and that could really make this scene wonderful. Even if he did "lose" it a little, that is what happens to real humans beings in that situation. As long as he can get back in control. I would encourage him to think about his mom, have a good, real, cry, and then suck it up and go on.  Gotta tell us how this works out...

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Quote KEB54 Replybullet Posted: 2/08/11 at 1:51am
Does the script call for a sobbing cry? Or just that he cry? Cries don't necessarily have to be vocal. Ask the actor to have the character cry soundlessly. See what happens.
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Quote PaulyWally Replybullet Posted: 2/08/11 at 8:39pm
Originally posted by Majicwrench

I would encourage him to think about his mom, have a good, real, cry, and then suck it up and go on.


I am of the philosophy that this is a dangerous proposition.  I'm not saying it's wrong (nor am I saying it is right).  I am saying that if you "encourage" an actor to go down that path, you damn well better be prepared for the aftermath.  You have no idea where this actor is in their grieving process.  You might get great results and open up opportunities for the actor... you might also open up a big bag of emotional worms that neither you (or the actor) are able to deal with.


Edited by PaulyWally - 2/08/11 at 8:40pm
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Quote GeeGee Replybullet Posted: 2/08/11 at 8:52pm
Wow!  Thanks for all of the advice!  You guys are a wealth of knowledge!  I decided it was best to sit down with the actor and have a really good, long heart to heart.  We talked about the problems he was having and whether or not he wanted to continue in the role. Once he established that he really wanted to continue with the part, we talked a lot about what the character was going through and how it compared and contrasted to his own emotional journey.  We also talked about drawing from something that makes you sad vs being emersed in your character and his emotions. 
 
Tomorrow night we have rehearsal.  I'll let you know how it goes...
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Quote edh915 Replybullet Posted: 2/08/11 at 10:16pm
KEB54 has the right of it.  Forget trying to unlock your actor's emotions.  Way too dangerous.  Work, instead, on the technical points that will convey the emotion you need.  Silent sobs, rather than a vocal outburst, are much more effective.  The old less is more approach.  I'd head in that direction.  By remaining dispassionate about conveying the emotional effect you're after, you'll allow your actor the luxury of bringing to his performance only as much as he is able to share.

Small example:  I had a heart attack a couple of years ago.  I made it to the ER.  Heart stopped beating.  I stopped breathing.  Fell to the floor as the nurse yelled "Crash!"  White light.  Out of body experience.  (Such a cliche, but it did happen.) -- Fast forward a year.  I'm in a play ("Dead Man's Cell Phone") and I have a ten minute monologue wherein my character, speaking from the afterlife, describes the day he died of a heart attack. -- My director was kind enough to allow me to find my own level of comfort with that scene.  Knowing that I could stop whenever it became too uncomfortable for me helped me push myself farther than I otherwise might have. 

It remains one of my favorite roles - second only to Teddy in "Faith Healer."


Edited by edh915 - 2/08/11 at 10:26pm
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Quote NDTENOR Replybullet Posted: 2/15/11 at 1:09am
Hey.... part of it all has to do with the actor and what he or she has experienced in life. I've always been a believer in "pretending the part" but "no pretending the emotion" on stage. I'd say some younger actors have never really experienced some of the full gamut of things emotionally and can't really express them well on stage sometimes.

As an example I once had to do an audition reading with a girl who was about 11 and she really needed to express that she was "sad" in the scene because she had had a significant personal loss in her life. Her mother was actually with her at the audition and was trying to help her. Try as we might, we really couldn't get her to relate to a significant personal "loss" in her life because she had never really experienced one. But then again she was only 11 and lead a fairy nice upper-middle class life. Unfortunately she had never really been "sad". Not her fault.

   If your actor hasn't really hasn't the maturity to have experienced the emotion needed for the scene I'd say you can only extract from the them emotions of which they are capable. And that's all you will get until they experience more of life .
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Quote peacock Replybullet Posted: 2/20/11 at 1:57am
I feel your pain. Last year we were three weeks into rehearsal for the Wizard of Oz with high school students when our Tin Man died in an accident. We postponed our dates, and did go through with the play. It was very cathartic,  but super stressful. During tech week we took a time and sat together and talked about him, and I encouraged them to cry it out, so that they would not keep bursting into tears. It actually worked, and I think they felt a lot more "in control" after they had the freedom to express. I do think that such a big loss, so short a time ago, and so pertinent to the play is tricky. On stage may be too risky a place to allow the full expression of emotion.
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